Carpe diem! Live for today! These are phrases that cancer patients and others use frequently. Have you ever realized how hard it is to really live in the present? I am finding it extremely difficult.
How can you forget about the past when you are living in it’s shadow? How can you not plan ahead when your whole life seems to be focused on what you WANT to do?
Sure, I am working hard to enjoy the moment and to savor both the people that I am with, the places that I go to, and the experiences that I am having. But it is very hard for me to force myself to stop dreaming about my upcoming trips to Scandinavia and Nashville. It’s also hard for me to forget that I have an important CT scan coming up soon and an appointment with my oncologist which will determine the details of my treatment down the road. It’s hard for me to forget that my family and friends will be without me in the near future, that my cancer is trying to kill me while I’m trying to live.
This “living in the present” is tough to do!