Yesterday I met, for the second time, with my therapist and I feel really good about our session. I was concerned that I am not doing a good job of dealing with being retired. I am impatient for things like my next trip to happen, and I am also having difficulty finding things to do to fill up my day. She explained that this (retiring) is one of the most challenging events in a man’s life, because, for men and even some women, our jobs and careers help to define us. Leaving that aspect of our lives behind is traumatic and extremely hard to do. Then, if you add in dealing with my death sentence, it’s no wonder that I am experiencing this angst and uncertainty.
She suggested that I try to act and live my life like it was five (5) years ago, before my cancer diagnosis. She feels that I am too hard on myself; I am too intense (ha, ha). I need to relax a bit and try to balance the reality of my cancer with being the person that I always was (happy-go-lucky, cheerful, optimistic, exuberant). I think she’s right, but it seems so difficult. This is certainly going to be a work in progress and I hope that I can pull it off.