This past weekend was an epic emotional journey for me. First, there was the visit with my grandson, whom I hadn’t seen since Christmas. He was competing in a national swim meet in St Petersburg, and we drove up for the weekend. He has not seen me with most of my hair gone, so he was very surprised and somewhat upset about it. My hair seems to have become a symbol and the first noticeable outward sign that I have cancer. Until now, people could not tell, just by looking at me, because I looked so healthy. When we took him out to dinner on Saturday night we talked about the hair and some ‘of my other symptoms. I think he is fine with everything, and he knows that other things about me have not changed.
When I returned from St Petersburg, there were letters from my other two grandsons, age 6 and 9. The nine-year-old was recently told that I have cancer and his note was particularly touching. He said that we “can make lots more memories together” and that he wants to “squeeze me” when I return home from Florida. I cannot wait to return to Rhode Island to get some of those “squeeze hugs” (as I used to call them when my girls were small).
Today I have another MRI (this one focuses on the lumbar region) and the last treatment of my second round of chemotherapy with avastin and abraxane.