Because of my cancer diagnosis, I am living from appointment to appointment. The future inevitably hinges on the most recent test results. This makes me think of the old Army expression, “You’re as good as your last visit!” I have spoken with other cancer patients and this is a common thread and feeling. It makes us extremely edgy. Even though I have a great feeling about my upcoming CT Scan (next Tuesday), there is always the possibility that the results will be mixed or even poor. Then what?!
I am trying to be very positive, a feeling that is bolstered by how great I am feeling, but it’s hard to avoid being nervous. The fact that my appointments, at this time, are six (6) weeks apart doesn’t help matters. I would almost prefer that they were closer together so I wouldn’t have to wait so long for a progress report. However, I am also grateful that I don’t need to be seen more often since I’m doing so well.
At any rate, I am eagerly anticipating, with some apprehension, my doctor’s appointment next week since it will have a decided effect on at least the next few months of my life.