I am becoming very impatient. When I was diagnosed with cancer in January, I made several promises to myself. First of all, I decided that I would make use of the time I have left to tell the people that I love what they mean to me. I do not want to go to my grave with regrets about the significant figures in my life. I want them all to know how I feel about them. To date, I have only crossed two (2) people off my list, yet I have had several opportunities. What am I waiting for?
The second thing that I vowed to do when lung cancer beckoned was to address the remainder of important places left on my travel bucket list. I have only left Rhode Island once since my diagnosis and that was to go to Boston for a second opinion. At least with reference to this promise, I have managed to plan a couple of trips, although the first one will not begin until April 2nd.
I suppose the main reason for my inaction is the fact that I am still working. When I finally take care of that aspect of my life, maybe then I will be spurred into action and I will be able to make a dent in these lists of mine. It seems that time is passing extremely slowly in that regard. I know that I should be grateful that time is not flying by since I don’t have that much time left, but my inertia and my impatience with it are making me very anxious. I want to DO SOMETHING! I want to feel like I’m accomplishing something.