My Personal Cancer Journey — A Name for my Ailment

Now I finally have a name for my affliction. I have been complaining and wondering why I cry so much. At the slightest provocation I find my eyes watering and tears flowing. My therapist this week told me that this phenomenon is referred to as “Anticipatory Grief.” She explained that because I am dying, I approach heart-warming stories with the feeling that “I’ll never experience this again,” so I mourn that inevitability. It doesn’t change anything, but now, at least, I know what to call it, and I also know that I’m not the only person to have these feelings.

Also, I had my fourth CT Scan yesterday. Of course, I won’t know the result until my doctor’s appointment next week, so I have to be patient. I have been a bit more anxious about this one since I have been on my magic pill for over 9 months. The pill typically works for 12 to 18 months, so I am thinking that the results may not be as good. I guess we’ll see what happens.

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